Recently I updated my gaydar profile to include the following:

Addendum: if you describe yourself in your profile, anywhere, as "cute",

"good-looking", "handsome", anything of that ilk, don`t bother. If you

really were, you wouldn`t have to point it out.

Additonal addendum: Also, you should be more than functionally literate

in at least English - skills in other languages are a bonus. If you can`t

spell and don`t know the difference between a pronoun and a noun - well,

there are courses that can help you, but I don`t teach them.

Predicatably, the very next message I received - within 24 hours - read simply "Hi :)", and was from someone who described himself as fitting "into the cute category".

I thought these addenda were borderline bitchy/rude, but left them in - my profile isn't there to help me pick up, so I don't care how many people I scare away.

However, I've been receiving a whole slew of messages since telling me that I "Sound like a nice guy" - which I don't understand at all.

Even more bizarrely, just a few days ago I unticked the "email/chat" and "friendship" boxes in the "What I'm looking for" section. Overnight, I got no less than *three* messages from people who (a) said that I sould like a nice guy, (b) *and* were looking for "email/chat"!

Unrelatedly, but just as frustratingly, I've been unable to check my voicemail for nigh on two weeks. I just now, finally, by pulling my weight with people I know working in the right places, managed to get someone to fix my voicemail. I've been able to log in, I've checked the messages - and found that one of the messages was from the person who fixed my voicemail - he'd called me on thursday and asked him to call him back!