10 Commandments of the Holy Church of the Bleeding Obvious

Taken from SMH:

THE FIRST HOLY CHURCH OF THE BLEEDING OBVIOUS.

OUR 10 COMMANDMENTS.

1. Thou shalt say Sorry when thou hast erred. This doth not make you look smaller but taller. This doth also bring comfort to those thou hast wronged.

2. Thou shalt Admit it when thou art wrong. For this saveth time and tis a noble thing to Stand Corrected.

3. Thou shalt behave towards others in accordance with how thou wouldst like to be Remembered.

4. Thou shalt live each day as if tis one’s last as life is too short.

5. Thou shalt use the word ‘You’ for every time thou useth the word ‘Me’.

6. Thou shalt Move Down On the Bus. As there is always plenty of room in the back and doing so doth start the day well for others, disposing them to do the same for others still, and so on and so on-eth.

7. When thou ist arguing with thy loved one, thou shalt stop, call Time Out, placeth a large kitchen pot on thy head and on theirs, then attempteth to continue arguing. Laughter then signifyeth twas a silly argument. Silence signifyeth tis an important argument, yet thou shalt gaineth objectivity, cut to the chase, acheiveth Resolution, kiss and make upeth.

8. Thou shalt see the difference between Religion and God. For there seemeth to exist no greater chasm.

9. In all matters of thy Religion, thou shalt constantly ask, “Would God considereth this bit completely unnecessary, petty and/or laughable?”

10. Thou shalt have the courage of thy convictions and try not to be completely the opposite of that which thou claimeth to be. For thy God dust most weepeth at the greatest idea in the world only existing on its head …eth.

Signed, The Reverand Justin Sheedy.

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