Story of the day: The voices in your head are real.
From the normally staid ABC news website comes this gem:
Paranoia is much more common in modern society than previously thought, says a British doctor, who warns it could lead to major problems in society.
Oh noes! Rampant paranoia! Is this what's been making me think crazy thoughts lately? Our society is in danger! Quick people: we must be vigilant! Examine your own thoughts for any hint of paranoia, NOW!
Dr Daniel Freeman from the psychiatry institute of King's College London says almost a quarter of the population experience regular paranoid thoughts,
One in four? Then it's almost certain that I'm paranoid. Woe is me! Whatever could be causing this epidemic of paranoia?
driven by an avalanche of sensational stories in the media.
Oh. Right. Good to see that you're helping there, doc!